Hello friends
I am living in portugal since over 2 years and it was all going good, on track and then everything in my life changed. everyone i know basically in the space of a few months pushed me away and blocked me from everything i had set up invested in and put a lot of loving and unadulterated love into. i have hhad very strong experiences with other human beings... people i loved, as family and even a lover, all of whom, have taken a piece of my heart and thrown it into the toilet. I know everyone is going now onto the spiritual mirror level who is reading this, but i think u must be careful and not be blind to the greater events at play on earth and that not eveyrthing is an individual mirror but now the universe is reflecting collectives of patterns and thought for the new beam. so wot has happened to me is the universe completely showing me how untrue my connections were. where i gave love, effort and unending support, i received dishonesty, hipocracy, two-faced relations and a constant spading milking me. anyway. the hardest has been the lover i have lost. i gave my entire being to this engagement. not wanting there to be a bottom to the ocean of love i immersed my soul in with this angel. but i was fooled again. my stupid innocent open heart always gets abused and i keep dreaming that she will come around and realise what it means to accept the role of twin soul avatars, that it goes beyond the human jigsaw puzzle of mundane relationship stories and into the cosmic holographic multidimensional orgasm of spontaneous non attachment and bliss apon bliss, always blissing out any past pain vibrations, and engaging it doing it for real together, unraveling it all, into the bliss of eachother, in the cosmic moment forever finding the oneness thhat is so there yet so ellusive.
so anyway, i am now in portugal and i need family. i need it brOTHERS and siSTARS. i ask for help. if you know any community here in portugal that practices its principals of love and kindness understanding and true healing, then please i would love to visit and join possibly. i need help in the form of kinship. true friendship and family. i am very alone and all around me is flooding me with negativity and i cant accept that thhis is some mirror. there is a lot more sinister energy at work on earth now and we need to face it that we are being seriously attacked now and the manipulation energy programs are coming into full gear. please help me find a good friendly bunch of people in portugal that i can give of myself again fully and with no inhibiions and holding back. this is my nature, but i just dont want to give all this pure energy and be thrown out by people i fall in love with like a no longer needed piece of crap. sorry guys, but i am very hurt inside and i am searching for love and good genuine human beings if they exist.
thhank you and may your light shine my way
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Replies
Hello Rafael, my name is Radu and I live in Lisbon :D
as my friend Bob always says:
"Don't worry about thing, 'cause every little thing's gonna be alright!" :D
Don't blame those people...u know they don't know better...or don't know how to react better...
we can all understand the pain ur going through (we all lost too many things)
but if u think about, u we're blessed with freedom: freedom from all ur involvements, occupations, material connections...it's not separation, because that only occurs when u believe this is separation and that u are alone ... aaaa... yes, u are saying that u feel alone, but honestly, please stop it! :D (I'm saying this with all the love) stop sayin, acting and feeling alone !!!
1st. u are not alone, just look around u :D (cause the "alone" thing can only be "imagined" - not perceived - in the material realm (yes, your mind is still lurking in the material realm unfortunately)
2nd. obviously the relationships u had were taking u nowhere (or to a stop)
3rd. check a map: roads intersect and then divide (simple, no use arguing that) - now compare the findings with life
4th. focus on vibes not on your imaginary "nature" (quote from u:"i can give of myself again fully and with no inhibiions and holding back. this is my nature, but i just dont want to give all this pure energy and be thrown out by people i fall in love with like a no longer needed piece of crap") - realize that everything u said above about urself is ego bullshit (don't take it personally please)
5th. "this is my nature, but i just dont want to give all this pure energy and be thrown out by people i fall in love with like a no longer needed piece of crap" - so ur saying that ur EGO's nature is to give love but ur afraid 'cause, wow!, u got hurt /:) - I'm being sarcastic because u need to see the paradox u limit urself to !!! this type of statement is contradictory, my friend => u declared that u live in a state of CONTRADICTION - is that ur goal? :D - thiiiiink about it
6th. "i gave my entire being to this engagement" - only God deserves our entire being, because only God can access, accept and know it (other than our own selves) - oh, yeah, and all scriptures and all books and wisdom keepers say the same thing: the only full commitment should be to God and none other --- also understand that u interact with bodies which are coruptible :D - obviously u need to meditate looong on this one ;)
"not wanting there to be a bottom to the ocean of love i immersed my soul in with this angel" - in the eyes of the universe and of the mind "not wanting" something = "wanting" that thing...u cannot push away negative concepts with negative thoughts :))))))
"but i was fooled again. my stupid innocent open heart always gets abused and i keep dreaming that she will come around and realise what it means to accept the role of twin soul avatars, that it goes beyond the human jigsaw puzzle of mundane relationship stories and into the cosmic holographic multidimensional orgasm of spontaneous non attachment and bliss apon bliss" - u talk about blissful non-attachment yet u want fix results - that's why ur were fooled, because u already anticipated a "wonderful amazing" outcome which equals ur IMAGINATION - nothing more
now regarding ur lover I can only say that I have been going through the same thing...it's hard to see ur partner (with which u were on the same level in the beginning) not wanting to understand ur vision (it can be the purest, it makes no difference)...it's not a tragedy because there are no fixed "twin soul avatars"...the liberating thing is that anybody can be ur twin soul, they just need to develop into that (the partners need to develop together into that)
oh yeah, I'm sure ur a very chilled out person, who can see things clearly, but (from where I'm standing) u are very attached to this gullable-luvable-dreamer-mellow situations => u create the attachment resulting in the fact that u "i need family. i need it brOTHERS and siSTARS"
please try not to have needs...work towards that point...
or if u understand hermeticism, just know, U were swung by the pendulum (should make u realize what i'm tryin to say)
also delete ur post !!! (and with it my comment)
just know (again) that u are not alone and that if u feel alone it's only ur imagination and ur fear... take control of ur emotions and if u really wanna reach blissful non attachment then start living non attached ;)
maybe my tone is not of the friendliest but u don't need that right now, actually u don't need anything! and remeber that !!!
Jah bless!
Radu :)
And always, the truth:
"In the All we live and move and have our being"