I just wanted to apologize, God. It was me. I did it.
5, 127 years ago I made a mistake. I have no idea what happened. We were all ok enough but I was just scared all the time. I was just so sick of being scared!
This thing started happening to me. I really didn't know what was happening at first. Things just started to get different. I started to get different.
All of a sudden, people were starting to look at me like they were scared of me or something. It was kinda weird but I also kinda liked it. I mean, it didn't really feel that good deep down but it was just so great to have ALL THAT POWER!!!!! I mean, I didn't have to be scared any more! I was going to have everything I would ever need or want! All I had to do was scare other people and they would do ANYTHING I WANTED!
And some of them seemed to want somebody to get us all organized so we could get more stuff done, and THIS THING SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE!!!!! All you had to do was to scare people and get them to join you, and then they IMMEDIATELY started to scare other people to get them to join our group, and pretty soon we were getting a whole army together and heading off to find more people we could scare so it would just keep growing and growing and growing!!!!!
It was so great!!!!! We had stacks and stacks of everything we could ever want, especially this new stuff called money! All you had to do was tell people about all the power it could give them, and then they would do anything you told them to to get it!
But that was just in the exciting early days. Pretty soon it got really awful. You could just sort of see it in peoples' eyes. Their eyes started to look sort of dead. And it didn't matter about anything that was going on outside of us or what kind of day it was or how we felt or what was going on with us personally. None of that mattered any more. We could pretend we were not human beings any more. The only thing that mattered was this power thing. The more people chased this stuff, the more dead they looked.
Oh, you know all this stuff already! Why do I have to try to explain it to you? You know exactly what happened.
And yes, there were some old guys around who seemed really disapproving of what we were doing, like they sorta knew that this was going to happen, but they could also see that we would have to find out the hard way, and we didn't want to hear ANYTHING like that. IT JUST FELT SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!! WE WERE ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU KNOW? NO WAY!!!!
But here we are, 5,127 years later. It's not working any more. I give up. I give up all of it. Even this high-tech free computer I'm typing on here in the library of this big concrete hospital, all chilled in the A/C while it's blazing and dangerous outside.
OK, tell me what to do next.....
NO, I DO NOT WANNA GO UP THERE AND LEAD THAT GROUP!!!!! I WANNA GET ON WITH MY LIFE AND DO THE AWESOME, FAR-OUT STUFF I KNOW I CAN DO!!!!!! THOSE PEOPLE DONT KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS OTHER PART OF ME!!!! I CANT TALK ABOUT ALL THE COSMIC AWESOME STUFF I CAN DO THERE!!! I NEED TO DO MY LIFE MISSION!!!!!!
(alexander, honey.... settle down..... you're not going to know in your head what to do next. you'll have to feel your way through your life with your whole body, mind and spirit. this whole little writing project idea you thought was so cool yesterday is already over. just stay with me, honey, and you'll be led, one moment at a time. you know that's how this works.... just let me have your life.)
OK.... I give up. Let's go.
Okay... goodbye Spacebookers. See you later, maybe. I don't know. I just work here.
Alexander
Tucson
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